I didn't have the best day. I came home from church upset and stayed that way for quite a while. I went to the cemetery and took some mums. I got the hose out of the back of the van and hooked it up to the faucet. Keith and I did some weeding last week and put down some more grass seed in some spots. As I began to water the dirt and hope that something would grow, I realized something. I was watering the wrong grave. A new grave.
For a second I felt horrible and then the realization came. Someone was recently buried right next to my beloved son and I was watering that grave. The one that was fresh. I was doing it because it still feels fresh to me. How can grass have already grown there? It just happened.
I'm glad that the grave has grass on it. Soon it will have a marker. It will be a sight where people can go to remember Ian. I don't feel him there. He's closer to me at home.
What I learned today is that my dirt is still bare, with one or two random blades of grass. I have some nasty weeds that have grown, but certainly the lush grass has not covered me over.
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