Had a conversation with Lucy a week or so ago. It's been going through my mind ever since and today I finally decided what she said was a good thing. Made me happy today.
We took the youth to the corn maze. 2 girls--12 and 13 teamed up together to enter the giant, dark claustrophobic, scary thing. Can you tell I don't go in? These 2 girls are, well, not average. They have challenges. Developmental challenges. They are so happy together. I think it's the best thing in the world that they have each other in our group. One of the leaders was worried about them the whole time--but didn't go in with them. When it was time to go, they didn't come out of the maze. We looked around for a while and asked the people staged at different exits if there was some protocol if somebody gets lost. I went to the petting zoo and the man running that knew exactly who I meant. He said, "Did one of them have a big yellow flashlight? Yeah they were here about an hour ago." I was walking back to the meeting place when I saw them come running from a dirt field--not one of the authorized exits and was so relieved. The adult that was worried about them scolded them upon sight very loudly. It was like one of those scenes you see in a department store when you want to take the child from his parents and run.
I hugged each one and told them how worried we were and how happy we were that they were OK.
Here's the conversation with Lucy:
I said I think that we need to try to let them have some autonomy and treat them the same as we do everyone else-- not treat them like 5 years olds that can't do anything for themselves. Then I started backtracking, and wondering if that's what I would have thought if it had been my child in there. Would I have been okay with Ian in there without someone responsible with him. We went back and forth about that, citing that his issues were sight and balance and exhaustion and that they were different than these girls' issues. Here's where Lucy said that you can't be rational about your own kids. WHAT? I didn't like that so much. Then she said I would've let Ian go, but I would have planned on something going wrong. She said I always let him do what he wanted but had a contingency plan. I've been mulling that over trying to decide if I really was the overprotective limiter that I have been accused of (not by Lucy).
Fast forward to today. I was saying my prayer this morning and being thankful for the atonement and I realized that the atonement is God's contingency plan. He knew that I would have problems and He didn't want me to ever get stuck somewhere and alone and afraid. I don't want to sound too prideful, but it made me think I did at least one thing as a parent that was like Heavenly Father. It made me feel good. Really Good.
