In my Dreams

I dreamed of Ian this morning.  We were walking together.  And talking.  I love talking to Ian.  It was great to see him.  We were on the way to school at Venture.  I remember looking down at his walk to see if he was limping.  I remember we started to jog.  He got pale and out of breath.  That told me he didn't have a perfect body yet. 

I should have stayed still in bed and tried to remember what we were talking about.  It makes me sad to not remember that.   That was probably the most important part of the dream.  We got to the door of his building--one I haven't been in for nine months,   I held it for him because he was a step or two behind me.  I thought how silly I must look to others holding the door when they couldn't see anyone behind me.  We stopped talking because that would look even more silly, and then I kept walking up to the front desk to talk to the receptionist while Ian stayed by the door.  When I turned back around he was gone. 

Even while I was asleep I was mad at myself because I kept walking.  I should have stayed there and finished the conversation that I now can't remember and not cared whether anyone thought I was crazy.

I just kept walking without him.