Ugh!

What has happened to our language that a word can just lose a letter?   One of my biggest frustrations lately is people mispronouncing the word frustration. IT'S NOT FUSTRATION!!!   People come on, read a book once in a while; take a class;  do something to keep that brain sharp.  The word doesn't come from the same root as fuss.  One of the definitions is "preventing progress."  Hello.  Do you get the irony?

Yeah, I'm Still Alive

I haven't written anything on this blog for a really long time.  Last summer, after four years, when Ian's death anniversary came and then his birthday came and then Taylor came home from his mission and then Halloween...It was too much.  Instead of making me feel better, it was making me feel worse to write, both on this blog and in my journal--which had become letters to Ian.  I chose to pull back from the hurt.  Things aren't all that much better now, just covered with more layers and not as close to the surface.

I was looking for a scripture the other night and couldn't find it in the topical guide or index and I thought I had written about it so I was searching through these posts.  Reading some of them made me sad, but there were some that made me remember how much pondering went into them and how cathartic it was.  I had completely, COMPLETELY forgotten that I named the book that I would someday write.  That was a good goal--even if my children will be the only ones who ever read it.

I'd forgotten that I had an outlet for all my weird thoughts and insights that always draw blank stares and chuckles in Sunday School.  I miss it.  I want to start again.  I hate that there are such big gaps.  I can't fix that.  I want to start again.