Monday, October 3, 2011

Who Am I?




Today I decided to go back and finish one of the 10 or so posts that was still  in my drafts folder.  I think I did write something about this and about me but here's the original first try all finished up.

My friend did this exercise where she tried to describe who she is--not what she is, like wife, mother, etc.  So I thought I would try it.  I'm not sure I'm as interesting as her but...

I'm someone who sees flaws first, so I guess I'll start with what I view as negatives. 
1.    Duh, I see flaws first--that's pretty awful.  I've always thought that it was okay to see them in others because they are what I see first in myself. 
2.    I can't block out distractions.  I think these first two things are related.  If something gets my attention, I can't let go of it.  Almost OCD.  Keith used to play drums--sorry, percussion, and he has rhythm running through every vein in his body.  He taps and taps and taps on everything.  It's pretty sad he got me,  I'm forever telling him to stop because I cannot carry on a conversation or watch TV or anything until it stops.
3.    I worry. 
4.    I don't like schedules.
5.    I need time to mull.  My first 5 or 6 reactions to everything are throw-aways.  Then I get to the real reason or answer or decision.
6.    I say what I think.  Yes, I'll list that as a positive too.
7.    I question everything--no, everything.
8.    I waste a lot of time.  It's always one of the first things on my New Year's resolution list.
9.    Did I say I worry?  I worry about everything.  Even things that deserve no worrying.
10.  I  replay conversations in my head.  I've written about it before.  I think,  "I should of said that,"  or "why did she say that?" or "I sure must have sounded stupid when I said that."  I really wish I was better at letting things go.

So, yeah, I do have some positive qualities.

1.    I care.  There aren't all that many things that I just say, "Whatever" about.
2.    I say what I think.  Honesty to a fault.
3.    I want to learn everything about everything.  I'm genuinely curious about everything except war and templars and movies that are half over.
4.    I'm thrifty.  I just don't see the point of spending money that I don't have to.  That's my dad in me--the guy who has a card in his wallet where his ID is supposed to be behind the plastic that reads,  "Do I really need it?"
5.    Probably stemming from thrifty is creative.  I look at almost everything and think,  "I can make that."  I was DIY before it was popular.  I was a picker before there were TV shows about it.
6.    I'm good at things that show--cooking, singing, drawing and yet I don't think I'm as good at any of them as I used to be.  I should keep getting better at cooking since I have to do it everyday, but with Keith's job and him bringing food home all the time,  I've gotten lazy.  The drawing and singing though, I just don't do either of them very often, so Duh!
7.    I'm not afraid of much.  I think that's a good thing.  New food.  New places.  New people.  No biggie!  You'd think that would run contrary to worrying, but it doesn't.
8.    I don't care if people disagree with me.  Well, that's not 100% true, but in discussions about all kinds of things, I'm fine with my opinion and letting others have theirs.  I don't think there's only one way to do things or that every question only has one right solution.
9.    I think for 44 years old I look pretty good.  I'd rather not have gray hair and stretch marks, but they both came with having kids, so I'll gladly keep them.
10.  I'm smart.  I got a good education, both with books and with life.  Although with age, I realize that there is more that I don't know than I do.  Many things I used to be sure of, now, I just think I know.  Sometimes I give an answer and then look it up later to make sure I remember it right.


Good, bad, ugly--it's all me.

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