Apple Hill

I had a bit of a breakdown last night.  I told Keith it feels like everything is the same.

He goes to work.
The kids go to school.
I'm at home.
We go to church.
We pay the bills.
There's fall festival at school.
There's temple trips.  (today)
It's all the same.
Except Ian's not here.
Nothing is the same.
Everything has moved on.
Everybody has moved on.
The calls are rarer.
They aren't "Are you OK" calls.
The emails are fewer.
But  he's still not here.

It was a breakdown.

Keith and Lucy went to the temple this morning--without Ian.  We went to Apple Hill for the rest of the day.  It is a tradition.  Traditions keep going.  It wasn't easy.

There a moment in the van.  I knew, at that moment,  Ian was saying,  "I'm over this.  We've been here long enough.  I'm tired of the car.  Let's go home."  I smiled to myself.  He was there.