No Wishes

Lucy and I went to San Francisco today, even though she told me she didn't want to.  After all the crap she finally admitted she didn't think I could get us there and back.  Wow,  I hope someday my daughter will be proud of me and see me as more than the maid.  I think I've navigated as many big cities as some people ever even get to see--on my own.  Anyway,  I explained to her that fear doesn't keep me from doing things I want to do and I didn't want it to ever keep her back either.  (Besides, What fear?  I've driven her to SF a few times.  She just doesn't remember.) 

We went on BART--even more adventurous.  I had to ask questions and figure things out--SO.  That's what you do, right?  We shopped at Union Square for hours and found a sushi restaurant for lunch.  So now we can check those things off the list.  I had to drag her into the ritzy stores because she's embarrassed that we can't spend $700 on handbags.  Hopefully next time I'll even get her to try some fancy things on--baby steps.

We stopped at a street vendor who was selling personalized bracelets.  He even had a LUCY, but it was pink,  so  he made her a blue and black one on the spot.  I got one too.  I really wanted the one that said IAN,  but I didn't indulge.  When he tied them on ours wrists, he told us to make a  wish.  It's hard to know your wish can never come true.  I'll never have a different wish, and it will never be granted.  Ian can't come back to me.  As we walked away,  Lucy asked what my wish was.  I said, "I didn't make one."  She said, "Me neither."  I knew we'd both cry right there on the street if I asked her why.

I hope she has long enough left in her life to get a new wish.