Matthew 7:7-8

This is the first of many posts based on those three words.  I started it in November.  This is my favorite topic in the world.  Someday I'm going to write a book about it.  I've done so much reading about it and heard so many people talk about how it's the counsel given most in all the scriptures.  It's so simple:  Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find;  knock and it shall be opened unto you:  For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. 

It sounds really easy.  After years of personal study, I have discovered that almost without exception, those words come with a condition--a way to ask; a time to seek; an attitude that must precede the knocking.  Isn't that just like God?--in a good way.  He wants to give us everything.  He wants us to include him.  He wants us to work at things.  So, he gives a simple formula.  "Ask Me, and I'll tell you."  But, it's kind of like a parable, the more you read it, the more you see.  The more responsibility is yours and the deeper the meaning.

I hesitate to even begin the process of writing about this subject because I'm so bad at following through with counsel that comes from it.  If you study something and write about it, doesn't that make you an expert on the subject?  I'm not.  Doesn't that mean you should live the things you learn?  I don't.  In fact,  I kind of run from it.  If I use each thing I learn about how to get answers from God and I still don't understand what to do or how to do it, then I only have myself to blame right?  If  I ask, using all I know and I do end up doing it right, and God gives me what I seek and it turns out that it's not good for me, again, my fault.

For example, I've wanted another child for years.  If I fasted and prayed and asked in a way that would please my Father in Heaven, would he bless me with another child because it's a righteous desire?  What if pregnancy was bad for my weird heartbeats and it harmed me?  What if he blessed me with another special needs child?  Could I handle it?  That's just one example.  I think I could list hundreds.

I fear asking in the way I should.  I fear knowing what God really wants of me.  If I knew, I really knew and I couldn't do it or better yet wouldn't do it--'cause I'm a rebel deep down, then what?  I don't have the answers to wrap up this post.  That's my point.  I avoid answers.  In fact, I avoided getting my patriarchal blessing because I didn't want to know what blessings I would miss out on if I didn't live worthy to get them.