Endure

I hate it when I'm caught between what seems logical and what I know is right.  Life would be so much easier if logical and right were the same thing.  Sometimes they are.  Frankly, sometimes that's how the Holy Ghost will tell me something--He'll make it logical to my head.  Then, other times it's all about the warm heart.  The worst is when it's the pit in my stomach.  I hate that one.

When I get hurt by someone over and over again, isn't it logical to distance myself from that person?  Wouldn't that be the smart thing to do?  Then how come I can't--cause it's not the right thing to do.  For example, there's no way to reconcile distancing myself from family, when I know families are the one eternal unit.  If I can't make a relationship work on earth, how can I hope for it to be eternal?  In the instance of a friend, how can I let go, knowing that I'm the tie between her and the church and if I let go, the contact is broken?

Is this really the time in my life where I have to reach out to others?  To make sure they are okay?  It hardly seems fair.  Why don't they reach out to me?  Is God giving me a project to take my mind off myself?  If so, I probably won't get the blessings that are supposed to come because of my state of mind in doing it.  Maybe this is how I'm supposed to learn the difference between 'endure to the end'  and 'endure it well'.  If all that makes my existence continue is not dying, then there's not much to it, but if I have a bunch of really difficult tasks laid out to accomplish, people to save--people to love, that would be richer I guess.

I think I rambling.  It's just a stubborn thing after all.  What real difference does it make if I'm the one reaching out or they are?  The contact helps me too doesn't it?  It wouldn't hurt if I didn't want the contact.  Maybe today I'll make a phone call or two.