Monday, September 17, 2012
High Tide
The waves of grief were back to slap me today. I'm not even sure what caused it.
Nothing, I don't need a reason.
All the old feelings of guilt were drowning me.
Here's the list:
Why did I leave Ian home on that mattress and go blueberry picking?
Why didn't I tell Keith he couldn't go to Oregon, that I needed him to meet us at the hospital days before we actually went?
Why didn't I yell and scream and insist that they do every test possible?
Why didn't I figure out why I was an emotional basket case for weeks?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Mikey's a lot shorter than me. Waves cover him easier. He's been under-water for a couple of months. What can I do?
Why now?
Just Questions.
No Resolution.
No Insight.
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