Confess not His Hand

Here's another scripture that I own--Doctrine and Covenants 59:21.  I earned this one on my own.  It's been 20 years this fall since I came home from my mission and I used this reference in a talk probably about 20 years ago this month.  I remember my Chinese was good and I was translating for some new missionaries at the conference .  We were all supposed to have prepared a talk so that anyone who was called on at the conference could give  a good talk and impress the general authority.  I didn't prepare.  There's a lot to do as a missionary and I had really hit my stride by this point.  Besides, what were the odds it would be me that was called on?  Odds are something I've really learned to hate.

Anyway with nothing prepared, I came upon this scripture while someone else was talking and thought that it would be perfect.

21  And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments.

It turned out to be a great talk and an experience I've thought back on many times--not advocating to be unprepared, but that God doesn't care about anything as much as us deciding that He's insignificant and unnecessary in our lives.  Now I must admit, I've always focused on the first part of the verse--which is something I hate when  people do, but anyway I have.  Maybe because it's easier for me to keep commandments than to accept that I can't do everything on my own.

This means something to me now because I'm not being as good at acknowledging my Heavenly Father as I should be.  I told a friend recently that if I let go and accept that Ian being away from me is part of  "the plan"  (which I was able to do a little easier in the beginning),  then that means I can't feel robbed anymore.  If I say that God knows better, then I have to be okay with His decision.  How can I do that?  This is not what is best for me.  Even if it's what's best for Ian--which doesn't sit well either, by the way.

Back to the scripture.  I love it.  I guess I love hard things.  Duh!  It makes me struggle.   It makes me reach.  It makes me want to not offend God, so I try to accept.  I try to keep the commandments.  I try to not give up.

I try to remember that I'm Not In Charge.