It's a Very Blustery Day

This morning was good.  It was brisk outside.  I drove to Folsom to the temple.  It's surrounded by huge trees and a few wild turkeys.  I didn't see any of them today (the week after Thanksgiving and all), but the bright blue sunny sky and the leaves blowing made me cheerful.  There were places on the drive where you couldn't see the road because of the leaves.  It reminded me of New Hampshire.  It also got me thinking.

Leaves are their most beautiful, vibrant colors right before they fall.  They're great in the spring when they are small and soft as velvet, but they aren't nearly as majestic.  There was a woman in the temple, helping me today.  I was looking closely at her hands.  They were dainty and gnarled.  They were covered in age spots and the veins were all  poking out.  You know what I thought?  They were so beautiful.  I love to be around old women.  They are so wise.  They are perfectly seasoned.  They've been through enough hard things in their lives that they know when not to speak, they know when to joke and when to throw their hands up in the air.  They know which things really matter.  They are closer to the bright colors of autumn in their lives.  I'm sure some of them want to cling with all their might to the branches of this life and some will be excited for the winds to blow through.

I know.  I have weird thoughts.  Whatever.

The blowing leaves also made me think of change.  Passing time.  I wish I could say that it made me think of the imminent snowfall of winter, but not in CA.  I'm going to try really hard to make a change.  I'm going to try to leaf (get it) behind some things.  Regret, guilt, blame, judgement and the 'what if's, at least for a season.  The cold winter can chill me with grief and loneliness, but not with the other feelings.  They can stay buried in the leaf piles or by the snowdrifts.  I'm going in where it's warm for a while.

Again,  I know, weird.  That's my brain.