Back to the Name

The name of my blog is "I'm not in Charge."
I found a scrap of paper today with the scrawls of my hand-writing on it.  Here's what it says:

Being in charge was Satan's greatest desire--That was the crux of his plan--not only taking our agency, but taking God's glory and Christ's mediation.  He wanted sole charge of all the members of our great and eternal family.  He wanted to be all-powerful, all-wise, and all in charge.

I think probably at first, he  wanted to save everybody and not lose a single soul because he loved us.  Any brother would right?  He thought he was making a grand gesture that we would all revere him for.  And then his pride kicked in.  The sin that does in more people than any other.  He didn't want to be wrong.  He got his feelings hurt.  He was embarrassed and ashamed that he had suggested something that wasn't the right thing.  He couldn't accept that God knew better.  That he didn't understand everything to the extent that God did.  He couldn't bend his will.

Keith read us a very famous Neal A. Maxwell quote in family home evening this week.

...the submission of one’s will is really the only uniquely personal thing we have to place on God’s altar. The many other things we “give,” brothers and sisters, are actually the things He has already given or loaned to us. However, when you and I finally submit ourselves, by letting our individual wills be swallowed up in God’s will, then we are really giving something to Him! It is the only possession which is truly ours to give!

Satan couldn't, no, wouldn't submit.  His desire for glory, fame and power destroyed him and so many others who followed him.  He couldn't let God be in charge.  Brings me back to my favorite scripture (I wonder how many times I've typed it in this blog).

Doctrine and Covenants 59:21   And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey his commandments.

God needs to be invited to be in charge of every part of my life.  I need to acknowledge him and recognize that it is my job to be obedient.  I need to understand that I won't lose who I am just because I'm His and submit to His will.

The sacrament hymn  "God Loved Us So He Sent His Son" has 5 verses, but we only ever sing the first 3.  I always read the 4th one before I shut the book.   It goes:

In word and deed he doth require
My will to his, like son to sire, 
Be made to bend, and I, as son,
Learn conduct from the Holy One.

I still need a lot of work on not wanting to control everything in my life, and Keith's life  and my kids lives.  I don't want to be like Satan.