More of Michelle's Happy Thoughts

"If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses"

I've had these words and the melody that goes with them going through my mind all morning.  Sick, Right?
I decided to google the song and look at the rest. 

"If I Die Young"

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh well
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time

And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger,
I've never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holdin' my hand,
There's a boy here in town, says he'll love me forever,
Who would have thought forever could be severed by

The sharp knife of a short life, well,
I've had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The ballad of a dove

Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save 'em for a time when you're really gonna need 'em, oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls

I hope there are lots of girls who died young for Ian to be flirting with.  I'm not sure about the pearls though.

After nearly 2 years, I've finally started listening to music again.  It's a hard thing.  It has memories attached.  I've written about that before.  But even new songs with poignant words are ridiculously hard.  There's another one that has a beautiful tune and I should be fine with it.--it's about a guy who lost his girlfriend--but I'm not.  Here's part of it.

"Not Over You"

Dreams, that's where I have to go
to see your beautiful face, anymore
I stare at a picture of you and listen to the radio
Hope, hope there's a conversation
where we both admit we had it good but
until then it's alienation, I know, that much is understood
And I realize

CHORUS:
If you ask me how I'm doin I would say I'm doin just fine
I would lie and say that you're not on my mind
But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two
and finally I'm forced to face the truth
No matter what I say, I'm not over you
Not over you

When Ian was 18 or so months old and supposedly dying the 1st, 2nd and 3rd times, I was staying at the hospital during the week.  Keith would leave work on Friday afternoons and come to the hospital with his bag for the weekend and I would go home to sleep--mind you, I spent most of Saturday there anyway.  Then on Sunday I would come with fresh laundry and start over again.  On the long drives to and from Boston to NH I would listen to the radio.  That was when I first heard "I Will Remember You" by Sarah Mclachlan.  They didn't say who it was and I didn't know.  With our life being so messed up for so long, it took me months to actually find the title and artist.  During that time it stuck with me.  I would sing parts and hum the parts I didn't know.  I wondered if I lost Ian at such a young age,  I would remember him, but he wouldn't remember me?  It's funny.  I look at the words now and see them differently.

"I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories"

But, I don't stop weeping.