Paul's Admonition to the Philpians

Philippians 4:8

 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Lady Gaga
Two and a half Men
Us Weekly
The Hangover
Real Housewives of Everywhere
National Enquirer
Fitty Cent

How is our world doing seeking after the good, the true, the lovely?
Not great.
I need a few adjustments myself.
Maybe I should make New Year's Resolutions now while I'm thinking about it.

Sight-seeing

I was telling someone recently that I was a Red Sox fan and I got the typical look from someone who isn't.  Poor thing!  People who love any other team just don't know what they are missing.  That got me to thinking about how my love for one and only sports team came about.

The first  professional  baseball game I ever saw--maybe the first professional game of any sport, was at Fenway Park.  Spoiled, I know.  What a great introduction to America's pastime.  (Although, I went with an Irish friend and had to explain the play and strategy the entire time.)  I've been hooked ever since.  Hooked my son--sons.  I'm not sure about Lucy, but I think so.

I've been a lot of cool places and seen many awe-inspiring things.  So today,  I decided to make a list.  15 places I've been and 10 I still need to see.  I can dream, right?

1.  The Berlin Wall
Do you call it that even if you aren't right in Berlin?  I saw it out in the country.  It was a fence with barbed wire and raked dirt on either side.  There was a wooden tower we could climb up on.  My parents and I were the only people there.  There was a farmhouse about 100 yards from the fence.  We talked about how awful it would be to live so close and have to look at that reminder everyday that you were that close to freedom, but couldn't have it.  There was a soda can on the tower and I kicked it by accident and the guards came running with their rifles pointed at me.  I'll never forget that feeling.

2.   Niagra Falls
I don't ever think I will get over the shock that they fall into Canada instead of into the U.S.  With my literalness of map reading skills, it seems impossible.  Canada is above New York.

3.  Arlington National Cemetery and Monuments
I love cemeteries so this was overwhelming for me.  My friend Robyn and I decided we could walk to the cemetery from quite a ways away.  We we glad to have a rest as we watched the guard at the tomb of the unknown soldier.  We were there the weekend that the Vietnam Memorial opened.  Watching the familiy members find their loved one's name on the wall was more impressive than the wall itself. 

4.  Holland
The whole small country, from the cheese market in Alkmaar to the china painting in Delft.  From the scenery in Maastricht to the windmills at Kinderdicht.  I loved my summer in Holland.

4.  Valley Forge
Not only are the green rolling hills in that  part of Pennsylvania gorgeous, but Valley Forge is one of those places where you can feel the hallowedness of the place you are standing.  It's the feeling there--the feeling of freedom.

5. Versailles Palace
Many things in France are inspiring:  Notre Dame, the Louvre, etc.  My favorite place was Versailles.  I remember a particular painting on the wall.  I remember the chariot race tracks--on the roof.  I remember the impeccably pruned gardens and statuary.  I remember the bike ride in the countryside around it with my dad.

6.  Autumn Leaves in New England
No matter how many times a person hears how beautiful they are or sees pictures,  there's no way to imagine what autumn leaves are like in New Hampshire.  They are 3-4 times as big as anywhere else I've ever been.  Driving down a country lane and having them all over the road is so peaceful as is watching them drift slowly from the branches down to the ground.

7.  Victoria Harbor Hong Kong
The skyline of all skylines reflected on the "fragrant harbor" which is the translation for Hong Kong.  I especially loved looking at it from the deck of the Star Ferry crossing to the Kowloon side.

9.  Give Kids the World
I can't count how many times I choked up during our week there, thinking about a man who dedicated his life to making a safe and happy place for kids with life-threatening illnesses.  It's not on the list of most people who go to Orlando and isn't open to the public, but serves families who need some time to truly relax.  There's an ice cream shop that's even open for breakfast.  It's all free and everyone there is smiling.  It rivals Disney as the happiest place on earth.

10.  The bombed federal building in Oklahoma City
Some things you see leave impressions for all the wrong reasons.  We passed through OK on our move to New Hampshire just a few days after the bombing.  We didn't know how close we were to the building.   We thought all the boarded up buildings were just a bad part of town,  then we realized.  It was horrible.  I took a photo out the car window with a billboard that said "God bless Oklahoma City in the foreground and the crumbling mess in the background.  We went back years later to see the memorial with the lighted chairs representing all the lives lost.

11.   The view from the crown of the Statue of Liberty
I hear people can't climb that high anymore.  I don't know if that's true, but it was great.  It was also good to learn the history.  The idea that one country would give that kind of gift to another is probably a thing of the past.

12.  Crater Lake
You can't top nature.  The beauty God gave the earth is better than anything man could ever do.  The clear blue water sitting in the bowl formed by a volcano is worth the trip.  Some form of camping definitely has to make my list.  This one was pretty close to  perfect.  Keith reading Harry Potter to us on the deck of a patio boat is a highlight.

13. The Sacred Grove
Each time I read the account of Joseph Smith's first vision I can see the location because I have visited it.  It's beautiful, but not at all what I expected.  I don't know why.  It was simple.  I guess that's fitting.   Palmyra isn't on many vacation must-see lists, but it makes my 15.

14.   17 Mile Drive

Driving the coastline between Monterey and Carmel California is bliss.  The cypress trees that dot the shore aren't found anywhere else in the world except the place they are named after.  The rocky coast and the waves are breathtaking.

15.    Fenway
That's what started the list-making process.  I love the Red Sox.

Honorable Mentions
Graceland
Grand Canyon
The Freedom Trail in Boston
The Alamo
Lantau Island Hong Kong
The Champs Elysee in Paris
Maine
The Golden Gate Bridge
Yosemite National Park

The 10 places I haven't visited yet are:

1.    Seattle with the space needle and Pike's Market
2.    "The Heads"  Mount Rushmore
3.    Phnom Penh
4.    The Emerald Isle of Ireland
5.    The jazz clubs and cemeteries of New Orleans
6.    China's great wall
7.    Gettysburg
8.    Venice, Milan, and Rome Italy
9.    Savannah, Georgia in all it's southern charm
10.  Pyramids in Egypt--but I don't think I could feel safe in that part of the world now.

3 Children

I went to a meeting at school today and we were going around the room with all the parents introducing themselves and saying what part of the school their kids were in.  I was nearly last.  I said,  "I have 2 kids--one in Delta Vista and one in Vita Prep."  I sat down and immediately turned to Lucy and asked her if I said I have 2 kids or if I said I have 2 kids here.  She assured me that I said the latter, but I don't think so. 

One of the teachers came up to hours later and said how heart-breaking it was to hear me say I had 2 kids.  I wonder how many of the teachers and faculty felt the same way.  I would have said it the same way if Ian were in college or out on his own, right?  He's not a student there.  I've been thinking about it all afternoon.  Was it wrong or bad?  Was I disloyal?  Did his former teachers flinch? 

My conclusion is that  it's probably good that I said it the way I did, because if I would have acknowledged my former, but no longer student,  I would've choked up in front of all those people, embarrassed Lucy and for what? 

I have 3 children.  3 great children.  I just don't get to mother 3 children anymore.  Sucks for me!

3, 2, 1, It's Halloween

The countdown to Halloween has been difficult for me this year.  Different than last.  Last year I was determined to not let Ian down by my lack of enthusiasm for his favorite day of the year.  Hoping he could see that all that was ever important to him was still important to me.  I still feel that way to a certain degree, but now I'm forced to wonder--at 17 would Ian still be psyched about Halloween?  Would he have grown out of it?  Can't say.  He's not here.

We considered all the gross or gruesome things we could do at the cemetery to share the holiday with Ian but decided it would not be received well by others.  I won't see Ian in a costume this year so I thought I would post some of the best ones.

Groovy Dude

At Dad's office in Texas

Mad Scientist for the Spook Alley

Biker with a real Harley Davidson Jacket

Elvis--most kindergartners love Elvis right?

This one just makes me sad.  He was soooo ill.

Couch cushion with straps

"Dad did my makeup!"

"Fighter-fighter"

And best of all, the best costume and the best attitude in the world--Napoleon Dynamite!!!

He was so disappointed that his Hispanic friend Jordan wouldn't be Pedro.

Candy Corn

1.  I hope I never have to be in the hospital, ever, in my whole life. 
2.  I hope if I do, someone who loves me sits there all day with me.
3.  I hope if I have a silly request for something as easy as candy corn that somebody gets it for me.
4.  I hope visiting the sick makes up for some of the weaknesses I have.
5.  I hope one more person I visit in the hospital doesn't die.

Ghost Festival

There are things that you encounter in your life that you just aren't able to absorb at the time.  Maybe that's how some people are with strange food or new surroundings.  I don't know.  I love new strange things.  I love interesting viewpoints and differences of opinion.  I remember reading about ethnocentrism before going to Holland to be an exchange student.  That's a good word to learn the meaning of when you are barely a teenager.  It can help you have an open life. 

There's one thing though, one custom that I  came across in Hong Kong that took a while absorb.  And now, 20 years later, I really understand it, almost to the point I could embrace it.  In the fall, coinciding with the full moon and the harvest, there is a religious holiday called the ghost festival. 

It is a day when  Chinese faithful feast, pray and take care of their dead.  That means they buy gifts and necessities and give them to loved ones.  There are elaborate paper houses that stand 3 feet tall. 

There are paper cars and jewelry, as well as full sets of paper clothing. 

The money--hell bank notes are bought by the boxful. 

These items, along with all kinds of food, are burned--turned to ash, so they enter the realm of the dead.  (I guess in a place where most people are cremated, you could believe that it was possible for other things to be able to go to the same place through burning.)  Believers say that they must help their ancestors leave hell by providing for their needs.

It takes time to really wrap your head around the idea.  On it's face it's just a smoky version of our Halloween--ghosts, demons, lots of treats.  But when you really ponder it, it's about the love that needs a place and time to continue.  If I subscribed to it,  I could still buy Ian T-shirts.  I could pick out a car for him and make sure he had plenty of spending money.  I know I'm still his mom and love endures and there are things we have done--like temple work--to ensure him  blessings.  I actually look at this Chinese tradition as a version of the scripture in Hebrews 11:40 

"God having provided some better thing for us, that they without us should not be made perfect."

On a more temporal level though,  I can't cook for Ian or do his laundry and give him dating advice or 9 million other things.  I can see why shopping and cooking and then burning at ghost festival gives Chinese families comfort.

Mae Francis

I have a very good friend.  Her name is Mae.  She is one of the most interesting people I've ever known.  She has been through so much in her life.  I can't think of a single trial a person could go through that she hasn't personally taken on.  I would list them, but somehow that seems to detract from the straight-backed, head-high way that she faced them.  She wouldn't want me to spread her business around.

I've really  missed her the past week--she died last October.  I've been reading The Help and I would love to sit in Mae's living room and discuss it with her.  She was born in the late thirties in the South and would have been around the age of all the characters in it.  I'm sure her mother or grandmother worked in a white family's home.  I remember her stories about it.  I remember her stories of walking to school and seeing the white kids on the bus going the other direction to their school.  I could listen to Mae tell stories for hours.

I miss listening to her--her deep, years of smoking voice.  I miss the wisdom that came through when she told me how to manage an issue with one of my kids.  I miss the laughing.  Give me a wise woman in her sixties or seventies any day.  I wish I had a photo of her already in my computer so I could post it.  I hope she and her sister Iva are laughing and telling stories where they are now.