Easily Entertained

Lucy was gone to Great America today.  So Mikey and I spent all day alone together.  We went to the park and fed ducks and pigeons.  We went to the thrift store and bought two games and brought them home and played both of them--no pieces missing.  They both even had the instructions.  I've wanted Quirkle for a long time.  I just wasn't willing to pay $25 for it. 

Then we went to the blueberry patch and picked a giant bucket of blueberries.  One of the highlights of the day was Lucy calling me to tell me she had just finished riding her first ever upside-down ride. That's a blessing I will count.  She wanted to tell me something exciting right at the minute it happened.

Mikey crossed the bridge into real boy scouts tonight.   Ian should have been waiting on the other side to welcome him,   but I guess that will have to be another bridge at another time.

Elvis is in the Building

On Memorial Day I will share a special memory.  Ian loved Elvis.  He was Elvis for Halloween in Kindergarten.  We drew on sideburns and made a white sequin jumpsuit.  He was adorable.  That same year we visited Graceland.  He was in heaven.



This photo was taken years later in Las Vegas.  I  think Ian was drawn not only to Elvis'  music, but also to the charisma and personality.  He was good at saying, "Thank you, thank you very much."  He had big coffee-table books about Elvis and  grandma's original vinyl records.  Who was Elvis?   was one of the first books he was really excited about reading all on his own.

Ian didn't really care about liking the same things as his peers.  How many kindergartners are into Elvis?  He was his own man and others could accept him or not.  Either way, he wasn't changing for anybody.  What a great quality--one of the many.

Not a Fair Fight

All that's left of the gallant knight is his armor.

This cartoon is entitled:  "Sometimes the Dragon Wins".  My dad had me color it for him when I was a teenager.  He framed it and hung it on the wall in his den.  He explained very carefully to me how the dragon was the devil and even if we are strong and brave, we should never try to stand up to him.  No matter how long we've been learning how to resist him, he's been learning how to tempt us longer.  We should never believe we are tough enough to challenge him head to head, because sometimes he wins.  We should always run from the devil.  It isn't weak or cowardice to run away from temptation.  In fact, it's smart to leave a place where the dragon might be lurking.  Stay as far away from it as possible.

I think that's the best lesson a teenager can ever learn.  Run, and run fast.  Sometimes the dragon wins.

Legacy

Things are passed down from generation to generation.  Some things  you want to inherit and some things you don't.  I'm thrilled to have my grandmothers' cameos.  Grandma O'Driscoll's was a given.  I'm the only granddaughter, but to have Grandma Rich's and her mother's too,  well,  I feel very lucky.  I wear each of them with pride and actually think about the great ladies who had them before me.  

I've inherited other things as well.  My father's temper.  I hope my kids love me as much as I love my dad.  I hope they see that I'm more than a temper.  I hope they hear the compliments and the love and not just the loud, belittling rage.  I hope Ian could see.  I still have time to change for Michael and Lucy.  I want to. 

I see so many wonderful things about my dad.  He has taught me more things than I can list.  He's so wise and really quite sensitive and creative.  I've had time to be able to see those things and balance them against his quick fuse.  No, he never struck me.

I want to learn a different way.  In the world of  "Fight or Flight",   I definitely got fight.  In most ways,  I'm glad.  I don't walk away from things.  I'm loyal and determined and persistent.   On the other hand,  I don't walk away from things, so I'm confrontational and stubborn and opinionated.  I can't even guess how many times I've been told to stop yelling at someone when I had know idea I was yelling--didn't even think I was upset, but that's how I come across.

Oh, I hide it well when I need to.  I can come off as polite, demure, little me when I want to.  I think I'm afraid if I change my temperment, I'll turn into a stepford wife and I'll have no passion for anything.  I might stop fighting for the things that are really important--not just to me, but just really important.

I hear the  phrase "pick your battles" a lot.  Are most of the battles important?  I had a conversation with some one this week about her son and how he couldn't sit down  at the dinner table--for 2 years.  He stood up to eat for 2 years.  She said she had to pick her battles and it was just easier to let him stand than to get upset and let it ruin dinner.  In my world I would try 5 or 6 different things like,  "You don't sit, you don't eat,"  for one  and then I'd scream about it,  maybe even before the sixth thing.  All the battles seem important.

I heard myself say to Keith recently (about something totally unrelated to this),  "You don't believe you can do it, do you?"  That has stuck in my head.  That's how I feel about changing my temper.  After trying for 10+ years, I just don't know what to try next.  It's like being an alcoholic.  I am sweet for a nice long time and then break into a good loud rant and I'm right back where I started.  And just because I think I inherited it from my dad doesn't mean I don't think it's my fault.  I just  have to find a way to change it.

There, a post that doesn't come to any sort of resolution.

Dandelion

I wonder why we are supposed to think the lush green grass is beautiful and not the bright yellow flower?

Nothing New

What strikes me today?  Church is hard.  No big surprise.  I see families big and small that no matter what is going on in their lives, they leave church and go home as a families.  Even the ones who aren't all at church together or won't all be home this afternoon together or don't live in the same house together--They're still together.

It sucks.

The gospel is still true.  I know it.  God knows I know it and I can't deny it.  Church is still hard.  What does that have to do with anything?  I go.  I endure.   Sometimes I learn something.  Today I learned that I have a choice to act or be acted upon.

I knew the topic for weeks--Keith was speaking--ward conference.  It's an interesting topic.  It was a good talk.  It made me think.  It applies to everything including getting exercise and eating right and having fun and being happy and on and on and on.  It's not solely a gospel principle.  There's probably many deep things to say.  Can I really follow "It sucks" with any sort of deep insight and be believed?  I doubt it.  I'll keep thinking about it.

Rapture

This is probably the least original idea to write about today.  Oh well.  Maybe I'll just aspire to have the best, most interesting things to say about it.

Wouldn't it be great if it was today?  Empty, grieving feeling over.  Enduring to the end, check! 

I'm so curious as to what this preacher said and how he brought so many to a point where they believed he knew what he was talking about,  especially since he had apparently done this once before in 1994 or something and was wrong.  People are so anxious to believe in something.  Things are easier when you have a deadline too.  Like, "I have 4 months  to perfect my life.  No more lying, taking advantage, swearing etc."  I can see how that would be a great motivator.  Short bursts of righteousness are so much easier to control.  When you look ahead to being good for the next 40 years however, it seems a little daunting.

I looked this morning for the word rapture in the scriptures.  Couldn't find it.  In fact, the only time I think I've ever heard the word is in an Anita Baker love song from the 80's.  Puzzled,  I pulled down The New Strong's Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible which indexes all the different translations (yes, we have that!) and the word rapture isn't in a single translation.  The Internet says it comes from the 17th verse in 1Thess, chapter 4:  "Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air; and so shall we ever be with the Lord."  I wonder who connected that phrase with the word rapture.  Maybe I should have read more than just Wikapedia.

There are a couple scriptures that I'm thinking of on a day like today.  Amos 3:7  "Surely the Lord God will do nothing, but he revealeth his secret unto his servants the prophets."  The ordained prophet of God on the earth has told us that we should ever be prepared for the "great and dreadful" day both temporally and spiritually.  We've heard that for many many years.  Matthew 25: 13  "Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh."  We have many signs of the last and final days, but we have been told multiple times that the actual timing of Christ's coming will be a surprise. 

There are many things we can know.  I'm a firm believer that the mysteries can be given to us if we weary the Lord with our asking like the widow in Luke 18. The date and time when Jesus Christ is due back to wrap things up is not one of those things.  We just need to live like it's tomorrow and always have the date saved by how we act.  He can save us from our sins, but not in our sins.  That's why his doctrine is repentance.  Maybe these billboards and all this hype did do some good.  Maybe they pushed people toward repentance.  That would certainly be a good thing.

It's no wonder many think  the world is ending.  Just read Matthew 24 when the disciples asked, "saying, Tell us, when shall these things be? and what shall be the sign of thy coming, and of the end of the world?  And Jesus answered and said unto them, take heed that no man deceive you.  For many shall come in my name, saying, I  am Christ; and shall deceive many. And ye shall hear of wars and rumours of wars;  see that ye be not troubled;  for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet.  For nation shall rise up against nation, and kingdom against kingdom; and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places.  All these are the beginning of sorrows..."  And in 2 Timothy chapter 3 "This know also, that in the last days  perilous times shall come.  For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents (we've discussed fulfilling this one in particular in family home evening a few times.), unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, truce breakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of  pleasures more than lovers of God;..."  The real signs are here.

I hate that the world is scoffing at the believers of today's "prophecy".  I hope this post doesn't sound like scoffing.  I think the attitude of the media toward all this is foreshadowing.  I think it means more and more scoffing at any type of believer in the future.

I would like it to be today.  The truth is, I'm not ready.  Can you ever feel ready?   Is it humanly possible to believe that you are good enough to be with God or his Son?  Maybe I would be more confident if I was speaking with Him every day or reading His words.  Maybe the billboards are for me--to motivate me to get ready and do the things that I should--the very things that are the hardest and cause me the most pain right now.  Yep, that must be it.