Standing up and Standing out

San Joaquin County Mock Trial Winners

Lucy's had quite a time of it lately.  She's seen and learned some things that I would have liked to put off for later.  The thing that has made it the most frustrating--for me, not her-- is that all the people she's been watching make bad choices have been members of our church.
Wouldn't it be great if they had the same standards she does?  I really should have recorded this weeks ago so I could do it with better clarity, but without all the details there is one thing I really want to get down.  We were riding in the car and I told Lucy it is a good lesson to learn that when you stand for something, you don't always have people standing behind you like in the Thomas S. Monson  video.

Here it is. It's only 4 minutes.

Now that you've watched it you will understand how significant Lucy's comment was.  She said, "It's okay if I stand alone.  It will make it easier for God to see me."  She's growing up beautifully.

Notice the cap sleeve on the formal dress she chose.

She's brilliant, but better than that, she's wise.  And even though I would rather everyone around her was strong too, I've had some great chances as a mom to counsel her when she's come to me.
Yeah!
And no, this boy didn't have a thing to do with any of the issues.  He's quite a catch and looking forward to a mission in 18 months.

Not an Honor

I wasn't raised by a single parent.  If  I ever win an award or dedicate a book or go on a talk show, that's what I will say.  My parents love me.  They love each other.  They wanted the best for me.  My mom didn't get pregnant out of wedlock.  They made good decisions.  They took my life and upbringing into account when they acted.
I have to say I'm tired of people speaking of their sainted single parents.  I know that all situations are different and some are not single parents as a result of their own actions, but dare I say, that most are.

Most of the single parents out there made bad choices and their children are suffering because of it.
My parents didn't have it easy.  They moved cross country  multiple times.  They didn't have their family near them.  They encountered difficult job situations and persecution over their religion.  They got married very young by today's standard at 18 and 21.  They suffered the loss of a child which nearly broke them.  In fact, it did break their marriage for a year's time.  They lived apart.  Somehow they overcame.  They forgave. They put my welfare and that of my remaining brothers at the forefront of their minds.  They weren't selfish. They didn't decide that it was too hard to fix.  They didn't cut their losses.  They kept their commitments.  I'm proud of them.
My family is not immune from divorce.  It's not free from pregnancy out of marriage.  I'm not judging those I love.  I am judging society as a whole.  It's become too easy to think in the short term; to say "oh well."  It's too easy in this world of pseudo-tolerance to do whatever feels good at the time and damn the consequences.

Too many kids are shuttled back and forth every week.  They don't have a real home or a real identity. They don't have permanence in their lives.  They don't trust that everything will be okay.  They wonder if they can really have love that lasts.

I'm here to say it's possible.
I'm here to thank my parents for not being single parents.
I'm here to promise my kids they won't ever have single parents.
It's not a badge of honor to say "My mom did it on her own" --even in Hollywood.